Weird things customers say in my bookshop

I recently came across the following book.

It’s full of dialogue that a bookshop worker collected over a few years, and it inspired me to start collecting things said to me at the bookshop where I work. I hope what makes these things amusing to me is evident, but if not I guess you have to work at a bookstore.

C: “Do you have any books by Jack Kerouac?”

C: (on telephone) “Hi, I was in there a couple of weeks ago and am hoping you can help me find a book I was looking at. I found it somewhere near your feminist sociology section. It was about Satan or evil, and it had a dark cover.”
M: “Do you remember the title or author?”
C: “No, but I think it was on the right-hand side of its shelf.”

Customer knocks on door.
M: “Sorry, we’re closed.”
C: “That’s OK. I just want to see the cat.”

C: “Can I get a discount?”
M: “I’m sorry, but we don’t give discounts.”
C: “But last time I was here the man working gave me a discount.”
M: “I’m afraid there aren’t any men currently employed here, so that must not have happened.”
C: “This was a few months ago.”
M: “There weren’t any men working here then either.”
C: (to companion) “No men?”

C: “Do you have a science section?”
M: “Yes, I’ll show you where it is.”
C: “Oh, I’ve seen this already.”

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2 Responses to Weird things customers say in my bookshop

  1. Sidney says:

    I bet Z was the ‘customer’ who just wanted to see the cat!

  2. Heather says:

    There are also weird themes, don’t you think? Most of mine are about the membership card – people are always outraged that it costs money to get better discounts, and I have heard some pretty ridiculous responses (and surprisingly angry ones!).

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